Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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