dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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