If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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