Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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