She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
