I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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