Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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