2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
