I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Are we still banned from the library?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring