Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible