Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse

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  (214): I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse http://tfl.nu/kj9n
  Replies (8) Good night (631) Bad night (2236)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway

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  (651): just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway http://tfl.nu/le5e
  Replies (18) Good night (1143) Bad night (3770)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  His little brother walked in on us. Six times.

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  (636): His little brother walked in on us. Six times. http://tfl.nu/ruyk
  Replies (29) Good night (1537) Bad night (9188)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious

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  (732): she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious http://tfl.nu/xtk1
  Replies (47) Good night (2884) Bad night (11488)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.

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  (412): I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket. http://tfl.nu/hou4
  Replies (7) Good night (1493) Bad night (1155)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list

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  (573): welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list http://tfl.nu/7gq6
  Replies (4) Good night (1326) Bad night (766)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"

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  (540): Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home" http://tfl.nu/xfn6
  Replies (8) Good night (1522) Bad night (415)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.

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  (312): Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco. http://tfl.nu/zgwl
  Replies (4) Good night (777) Bad night (504)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality

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  (540): I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality http://tfl.nu/elez
  Replies (5) Good night (968) Bad night (335)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.

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  (306): I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth. http://tfl.nu/zq9c
  Replies (2) Good night (423) Bad night (544)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.

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  (617): Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned. http://tfl.nu/urtx
  Replies (0) Good night (544) Bad night (308)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life

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  (618): If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life http://tfl.nu/7oxt
  Replies (1) Good night (511) Bad night (287)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's

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  (801): And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's http://tfl.nu/7hkf
  Replies (0) Good night (509) Bad night (247)
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  (475): View more from Connecticut

  I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.

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  (475): I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions. http://tfl.nu/jmp1
  Replies (1) Good night (511) Bad night (230)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Welcome to adulthood.

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  (570): My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday? (570): Welcome to adulthood. http://tfl.nu/hzr7
  Replies (4) Good night (378) Bad night (216)

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