IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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