I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
