i think my mom watched the whole time
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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