Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Someone signed my nipple.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
