so explain again why im purple
no
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
