The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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