are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
