direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
