We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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