the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
