um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
