so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
