The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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