is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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