Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize