How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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