Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
