Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus

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(630): Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus http://tfl.nu/u8l4

Replies (19) Good night (562) Bad night (1735)
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(520): View more from Arizona

i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.

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(520): i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off. http://tfl.nu/yt3u

Replies (10) Good night (2743) Bad night (549)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.

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(770): I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass. http://tfl.nu/l3hc

Replies (17) Good night (719) Bad night (4774)
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(214): View more from Texas

he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'

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(214): he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true' http://tfl.nu/1kz1

Replies (79) Good night (38172) Bad night (1694)
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(970): View more from Colorado

He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag

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(970): He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag http://tfl.nu/538a

Replies (16) Good night (1152) Bad night (4707)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl

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(+44): it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl http://tfl.nu/hhri

Replies (16) Good night (1156) Bad night (4279)
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(817): View more from Texas

I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.

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(817): I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number. http://tfl.nu/dwaz

Replies (1) Good night (2714) Bad night (633)
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(850): View more from Florida

When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?

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(850): When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember? http://tfl.nu/i061

Replies (6) Good night (2733) Bad night (880)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.

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(250): I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all. http://tfl.nu/5qpa

Replies (12) Good night (2128) Bad night (563)
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(563): View more from Iowa

He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.

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(563): He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name. http://tfl.nu/wgo9

Replies (7) Good night (520) Bad night (1647)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM

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(+44): IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM http://tfl.nu/pr8f

Replies (3) Good night (773) Bad night (342)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.

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(+44): don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused. http://tfl.nu/f355

Replies (7) Good night (2104) Bad night (296)
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(410): View more from Maryland

It was a book called Gay Safari.

(443): View more from Maryland

I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.

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(410): It was a book called Gay Safari. (443): I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel. http://tfl.nu/jo6k

Replies (2) Good night (484) Bad night (252)
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(509): View more from Washington

Are you wearing clothes?

(425): View more from Washington

Fuck no, who do you think I am

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(509): Are you wearing clothes? (425): Fuck no, who do you think I am http://tfl.nu/22rj

Replies (6) Good night (1500) Bad night (244)
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(513): View more from Ohio

So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.

(1-513): View more from Ohio

Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?

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(513): So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night. (1-513): Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though? http://tfl.nu/ren0

Replies (2) Good night (509) Bad night (286)

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