Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  We need to hang out more often

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol. (708): We need to hang out more often http://tfl.nu/04n9
  Replies (13) Good night (2747) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway. http://tfl.nu/iohv
  Replies (8) Good night (1696) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml. http://tfl.nu/k21j
  Replies (21) Good night (867) Bad night (3840)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"

  (1-606): View more from Kentucky

  You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!" (1-606): You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents. http://tfl.nu/3y9c
  Replies (17) Good night (1001) Bad night (5755)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious. http://tfl.nu/99ri
  Replies (48) Good night (6104) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick. http://tfl.nu/mxvd
  Replies (10) Good night (944) Bad night (2933)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days http://tfl.nu/5mt6
  Replies (10) Good night (4819) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying. http://tfl.nu/u472
  Replies (30) Good night (9076) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket (617): I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you http://tfl.nu/qdni
  Replies (3) Good night (1683) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child. http://tfl.nu/jtoq
  Replies (3) Good night (390) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly http://tfl.nu/23d8
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing http://tfl.nu/5qyn
  Replies (11) Good night (885) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there. http://tfl.nu/hpvl
  Replies (0) Good night (365) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals. http://tfl.nu/0nga
  Replies (2) Good night (699) Bad night (209)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans http://tfl.nu/4qeg
  Replies (1) Good night (377) Bad night (702)

Randomize