Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  did you get my message about your dog?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  no... is he ok?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry

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  (248): did you get my message about your dog? (1-248): no... is he ok? (248): no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry http://tfl.nu/keer
  Replies (16) Good night (637) Bad night (2868)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar

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  (917): you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar http://tfl.nu/kodl
  Replies (29) Good night (7084) Bad night (759)
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  (714): View more from California

  I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?

  (949): View more from California

  I gave it to your brother to give to you.

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  (714): I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it? (949): I gave it to your brother to give to you. http://tfl.nu/fwxt
  Replies (57) Good night (13877) Bad night (5312)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win

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  (702): Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win http://tfl.nu/7mt0
  Replies (10) Good night (3728) Bad night (1152)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...

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  (843): my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk... http://tfl.nu/ndqi
  Replies (14) Good night (5768) Bad night (1362)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now

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  (262): Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now http://tfl.nu/184c
  Replies (45) Good night (1400) Bad night (7987)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.

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  (912): Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops. http://tfl.nu/tuda
  Replies (9) Good night (1276) Bad night (3730)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.

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  (313): Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award? (734): She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy. http://tfl.nu/0kwr
  Replies (33) Good night (1084) Bad night (2906)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?

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  (310): If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement? http://tfl.nu/kphp
  Replies (6) Good night (5280) Bad night (1264)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.

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  (810): She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again. http://tfl.nu/2zep
  Replies (1) Good night (3228) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.

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  (612): It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go. http://tfl.nu/kgh1
  Replies (7) Good night (855) Bad night (2124)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.

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  (630): I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/bzms
  Replies (9) Good night (1310) Bad night (2538)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am

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  (602): I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am http://tfl.nu/mg4n
  Replies (4) Good night (617) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.

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  (614): By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/y4y3
  Replies (2) Good night (294) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.

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  (717): Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable. http://tfl.nu/afco
  Replies (3) Good night (604) Bad night (227)

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