yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
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I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
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Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
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