Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You just missed an honest to god bukkake