Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken. http://tfl.nu/9881

Replies (13) Good night (1059) Bad night (5376)
Favorite
(231): View more from Michigan

I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(231): I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic. http://tfl.nu/t71g

Replies (12) Good night (4161) Bad night (863)
Favorite
(845): View more from New York

We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?

(1-845): View more from New York

Who won mens moguls?

(845): View more from New York

That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(845): We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously? (1-845): Who won mens moguls? (845): That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude. http://tfl.nu/8mik

Replies (63) Good night (6842) Bad night (2368)
Favorite
(978): View more from Massachusetts

he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(978): he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey. http://tfl.nu/pfjh

Replies (19) Good night (6854) Bad night (1212)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step http://tfl.nu/7m4i

Replies (7) Good night (4693) Bad night (1317)
Favorite
(940): View more from Texas

I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(940): I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it http://tfl.nu/c2d6

Replies (10) Good night (2795) Bad night (944)
Favorite
(573): View more from Missouri

They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(573): They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt. http://tfl.nu/azqc

Replies (5) Good night (3546) Bad night (806)
Favorite
(416): View more from Toronto

He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(416): He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex. http://tfl.nu/exbo

Replies (24) Good night (4357) Bad night (1167)
Favorite
(480): View more from Arizona

its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(480): its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore http://tfl.nu/mq1v

Replies (7) Good night (978) Bad night (2239)
Favorite
(210): View more from Texas

Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(210): Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT. http://tfl.nu/29iu

Replies (17) Good night (4447) Bad night (1072)
Favorite
(805): View more from California

The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(805): The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move. http://tfl.nu/j8dv

Replies (6) Good night (627) Bad night (2481)
Favorite
(515): View more from Iowa

Why am I always the sober one?

(641): View more from Iowa

Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(515): Why am I always the sober one? (641): Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power... http://tfl.nu/bz1n

Replies (4) Good night (1843) Bad night (697)
Favorite
(616): View more from Michigan

Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.

(402): View more from Nebraska

20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(616): Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night. (402): 20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun http://tfl.nu/qbq0

Replies (2) Good night (847) Bad night (591)
Favorite
(407): View more from Florida

If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(407): If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/rq3w

Replies (3) Good night (740) Bad night (401)
Favorite
(540): View more from Virginia

Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(540): Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight. http://tfl.nu/pfpe

Replies (1) Good night (959) Bad night (323)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard