Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
