Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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