I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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