I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
