Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
