Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
