First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize