I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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