I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
