what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think I am morally bankrupt
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
