I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
