I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
