the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
