You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Someone shattered a urinal.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
