I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
