How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
