I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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