he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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