i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
