All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She's the barista slut.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
