nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
