Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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