Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think my moral compass just broke
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
