eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
