Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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