You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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