My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
