Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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