I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
