Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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