grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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