hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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