Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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