'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
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And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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