Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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