So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
