what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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