she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
