UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
