I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize