doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
