You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
