I'm passing your future prison.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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