I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
