Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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