My brain says no but my pants say off.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize