Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
