Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
