i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
