I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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