I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
